No Regrets - Part 45|
Please see part 1 for disclaimer, codes, summary, etc.
I decide it may be a good idea to stop before things get out of hand. I force my lips from Tom's and try to steady my breathing, but he rolls me onto my back and gently begins to kiss and nibble on my jaw.
"Tom, I think you'd better stop that," I mumble rather unconvincingly.
"Ah ha," he murmurs in agreement, at the same time slowly licking his way over to my earlobe. When he sucks it into his mouth, I can't hold back my moan.
"Spirits! That feels good," I groan. He lets go and trails kisses down the side of my neck instead, pushing my collar down out of the way with his teeth. I start to pant as he begins biting and sucking at my neck and then moves back up to my ear.
Warning bells are going off in the back of my head. I know we should stop this now, but I keep telling myself to wait just a little longer. It feels so good, just a little longer.
Tom's the one with all the control here. He won't let things go too far. I give in to the sensations running through me.
By the time he's finished with my neck and ears I'm a quivering mess, desperate for more stimulation. I shiver in excited anticipation as he gently opens my jacket and pushes my turtleneck and t-shirt up to my chin so that he can feast on my chest.
Spirits! His mouth is incredible. I moan in delight as he suckles on first one nipple and then the other, before licking and kissing his way slowly down towards my navel. Finding it difficult to breathe, I'm vaguely aware of his fingers sliding into the waistband of my pants as he undoes them and pushes them open to bare my stomach.
His mouth continues its descent downwards, nipping and licking all over my stomach, before he dips his tongue in and out of my navel. I lie there, powerless to do anything but moan, as his hand glides below my navel and his fingers slide into my shorts to play with the first few strands of hair.
I want his hand to go lower... lower, and arch up to let him know, hoping he'll take advantage of the fact to push my pants and shorts down out of the way.
He doesn't, concentrating on my navel instead. His tongue swirls in and around it and I shudder in ecstasy, unable to take it any longer.
"I want you, Tom," I pant desperately.
His mouth leaves my navel as he stops to look up at me. I can't see his expression in the dull light, but his voice is warm and gentle and full of love. "You've got me, Chakotay. I'm all yours."
He scrambles back up to cover my mouth with his, pressing gently at first, his lips moving against mine almost teasingly. The passion builds, and soon we're devouring each other hungrily, surrendering totally to our pent up emotions.
"I'm not comfortable with this," I mumble, standing up and moving away from the monitor.
B'Elanna hits my arm as I pass her. "Shut up, Harry. It's not like we can really see anything. It's too dark. I think we should turn up the light a little."
"No way. I think we should turn the sound down." Tom's soft moans are continuous, but it's Chakotay's loud groans that are bothering me. B'Elanna's right. It's too dark to see very much, but I can see the outline of the two of them on the bunk, as Tom slowly makes his way down Chakotay's body.
His head appears to be about level with Chakotay's navel now, but what if he just keeps on going down? I swallow nervously. Chakotay will kill us all if he ever realizes the truth.
The Captain's watching the monitor as avidly as B'Elanna is, every now and then murmuring that she's sure they won't take it too far. They'll remember they're being monitored and stop any time now. I wish I was that confident.
Chakotay's already proven he has no self-control at all where Tom's concerned, and Tom... Tom will think we've already turned the monitor off to respect their privacy.
He knows of course. I suspected it yesterday, but then he had that panic attack and I thought I must have been wrong.
I told the Captain right from the start that we wouldn't be able to fool Tom. He's too good with the holodecks not to recognize a simulation when he's in one. It was my idea to keep the light off as much as possible. It was the only thing I could think of to stop Tom from realizing where he was.
The Doc assured us Tom would be fine. He'd conquered his phobia completely, but suggested we monitor his life signs, just to be safe.
We were going to give them complete privacy, only watching them when the light was on to be sure that Tom didn't become suspicious of his surroundings. But then we hit him in the head with the damn door and B'Elanna pointed out we might walk in at other inopportune times.
We decided we'd have to listen in before we entered the cell, just to be sure it was okay to interrupt them. The Captain was hoping that it wouldn't take long before they were talking and resolving things properly.
But every time we thought things were going well, and Voyager would be able to come to their rescue, they'd start arguing again.
We were all rather shocked when Tom had the panic attack. We hadn't expected it. We'd argued whether to continue with the whole scheme or not, considering I was positive Tom had guessed it was only us, and watched and listened when they ate their breakfast.
Tom managed to irritate both B'Elanna and me, proving in my mind at least, that I was right. He knew it was all a simulation. The Captain insisted on us going in to collect the tray, breaking up what looked like Tom's imminent death. Both B'Elanna and I wanted Chakotay to strangle Tom first.
We'd no sooner slammed the door shut when we heard Tom start to kick at the door, yelling to be let out, and then the Doc reported that Tom's life signs were agitated. We listened in horror to the monitor as Tom's distress worsened, before racing in to sedate him.
That's when I thought I must have been wrong. Tom hadn't guessed. We were all worried sick about him, and the Captain had decided to put in motion the so-called rescue when he woke up.
He didn't seem particularly distressed, however, but he did let us know he knew. What we didn't understand is why he didn't tell Chakotay.
We came to the conclusion that he must have decided to take advantage of the situation we'd placed them in to sort things out with Chakotay once and for all. I never thought he'd force me to shoot him though.
"I want you, Tom." Chakotay's desperate pant brings me back to the present.
"You've got me, Chakotay," Tom whispers huskily. "I'm all yours."
I breathe a sigh of relief as Tom scoots back up to do just that and they lock lips once more.
"I don't think it's necessary to monitor them any more," the Captain says quietly. "They seem to have worked things out satisfactorily. We'll leave them alone for a few more hours and then mount our rescue mission."
"Is that necessary?" I ask. "Tom knows they weren't really captured. I don't see the point in continuing the whole farce."
"It's necessary for Chakotay. I don't think he'll appreciate being duped."
"That's for sure," B'Elanna agrees. "It's best if we beam them into sickbay, just the way we planned."
"I'll go in to greet them, and..."
The moans coming from the monitor increase dramatically and the Captain turns around sharply to stare at it. "Oh, my."
Tearing our mouths away from each other, we pant heavily, struggling for breath. I'm feeling light-headed and more than a little dizzy. I want Tom and I want him now!
I sit up just long enough to shrug off my jacket and pull my turtleneck and t-shirt over my head, before Tom pushes me back down and starts to bite at my shoulders and neck.
Reaching out, I start tugging at his clothes, and he stops his assault to sit up and undo his jacket, sliding it from his shoulders and throwing it to the floor. As he tugs his turtleneck and t-shirt up, I sit up and help to pull them over his head, burrowing my face against his chest, enjoying the feel of his chest hair caressing my face.
I do some licking and sucking and biting of my own, as Tom's moans grow louder and louder. Maneuvering him around a little, so that he's sitting with his back resting against the wall, I get up onto my knees beside him, and leaning over him begin the onslaught on his chest in earnest.
Although his breathing sounds like rasping sobs, his hands are never still as they continually run through my hair, massage my shoulders and caress my back. His fingers are like magic, causing my body to tingle wherever he touches.
His hands reach down further, caressing my lower back, and then dip down into my shorts. I groan loudly as his fingers run over each of my butt cheeks, scratching lightly, before he begins to knead them.
Nibbling on his neck, I lean forward slightly, and then groan even louder as he gently pushes my shorts and pants down, running his hands along the backs of my exposed thighs and then back up to my ass once more.
As his fingers snake around to my groin and he fondles me... softly... gently, I cry out. "Oh, yes, Tom. That feels so good. So good."
My hips begin to move involuntarily and I begin thrusting into his hand. I'm so close. So close...
I peer over the Captain's shoulder and can just make out that Tom is sitting against the wall with Chakotay kneeling beside him. I peer a little closer and then jump back with a start.
"What the hell is that?" B'Elanna cries, squinting into the monitor. "That's not what I think it is, is it?"
"This goes off... now," the Captain says briskly, making no attempt to turn it off. Since she's sitting right in front of the control panel it would make more sense for her to press the button, but as it doesn't seem that's going to happen, I reach across her arm and do it instead. Chakotay groans especially loudly as the screen goes blank, and my hands shake with relief.
"Thank you, Ensign."
"Was that or was that not Chakotay's butt?"
"Oh! Is that what you were looking at? I thought you meant his other thing."
"What other thing?"
"Shit! What'd I miss?"
"B'Elanna! Harry! Enough! It was too dark to see anything properly. I had no idea things would progress that far. I mean... what were they thinking? As far as Chakotay's concerned he still believes they're hostages, and Tom... Tom knew we were watching them. What the hell was he thinking?"
"He probably thought we'd stopped watching once they sorted things out," I answer, trying to avoid B'Elanna's eye. I know what she thinks. Tom did it on purpose. I can guess his thoughts. This was his little payback for the whole scheme. It's our own fault if we got more than we bargained for by continuing to watch them.
Not that it bothered B'Elanna. She would have watched the whole thing with undisguised glee. The Captain is definitely a little shocked, and as for me... well, I could have done without witnessing that last scene. I don't know how I'll ever be able to look the Commander in the face again.
And that's another reason why we'll have to continue to leave Chakotay in the dark, so to speak. If he finds out Tom knew and still provided us with that little show, I hate to think of the consequences. I wonder if Tom meant to take it that far? Somehow, I doubt it.
The Captain sighs. "You're probably right, Harry. We should have stopped watching ages ago. Come on. It's time we changed out of these ridiculous disguises."
"No!" Chakotay says hoarsely, placing his hand over mine and stopping me from taking him over the edge. Shit! I'd completely forgotten where we were. How could I forget?
I'd been so lost in sensation that I'd forgotten everything. Surely they wouldn't still be watching, would they? I wouldn't put it past B'Elanna, and I can imagine the Doc watching gleefully, probably taking notes for some paper he'd like to write. But not Harry, and certainly not the Captain.
She would have turned off the monitor by now. I'm sure she would. But what if she hadn't? What if they're all still watching right now? It's almost dark, but they could make out our outlines; they'd be able to tell what we're doing. And that's not to mention the noise factor. Neither of us have been especially quiet. Chakotay is still panting loudly as he battles to regain control.
I can't believe I let it go this far. I thought I had everything under control. I just wanted to give them a bit of a thrill. Worry them a little. But as soon as Chakotay took off his shirt, I lost it completely.
That wasn't supposed to happen, and how do I explain this to him? I know I can be a bit of a shit at times, but I never meant to humiliate him in this way. I can only hope and pray that they had the good sense to turn the monitor off.
"I'm sorry," I start to say, but he leans in and kisses me roughly.
"I don't want to come yet," he whispers huskily. "I want to touch you first."
"I want that too," I whisper shakily, realizing I'm still holding his penis in my hand. "But I forgot where we are. I lost control. I'm so sorry." I release my hold on him and attempt to pull his pants back up.
"I don't want to stop now, Tom. I *can't* stop now," he hisses fiercely, pushing my hands away and fumbling with the fastenings of my pants instead.
"Chakotay, they may be watching," I say urgently as he almost tears them in his haste to get them open.
"Let them," he growls, somehow managing to lift me up with one arm and dragging my pants down to my knees with the other.
I let out a small cry as he sits me back on the bunk with my back against the wall once more and begins to touch me. "You don't... you don't mean that. We have to stop."
"I love you, Tom," he whispers. "They're monitoring our life signs that's all. They're not watching."
"They could be," I groan as he nestles his nose into my groin. I can't stop him. I can't do anything but enjoy the sensation of his tongue as he licks along the sides of my shaft. In the back of my mind is absolute horror that the Captain and the others could be watching us right now, but I'm incapable of moving. Incapable of doing anything but moan as he gently nibbles his way up to the very tip of my erection and then licks around the head.
"Shit!" I cry out, warmth engulfing me as he takes my penis into his mouth and sucks hard. "Oh Gods." His tongue swirls around me and I begin to pant, thrusting up into him while his head moves up and down over me. The feeling is incredible and I find myself begging him not to stop.
The need to touch him overwhelms me and I reach out and fumble for his penis, wrapping my hand around it, while my other hand snakes around to play with his ass. He immediately begins to thrust his hips, moaning loudly.
As my fingers delve in and out and around his anus, I move my hand over his shaft trying to keep in time with the movements of his mouth.
His mouth is so incredibly warm, so incredibly moist, his lips so soft, his tongue so light, I cry out more than once.
Chakotay suddenly stops all movement and stiffens, silently spilling his seed into my hand, causing my balls to tighten and tingle. Moments later I scream his name in warning as my own climax hits.
It's intensely powerful and I scream again as he sucks me dry. Completely drained, I sag against the wall as Chakotay licks me clean and then slowly tongues his way over my stomach and chest and up to my throat.
I throw my arms around him and hug him tightly. "That was amazing," I manage to choke out.
"Um... Tom? Whatever you do, don't run your fingers through my hair. Okay?"
"What? Oh... shit!" I suddenly realize that my hand is still covered with his juices and I've smothered them all over his shoulder blade and the back of his neck.
With that realization comes another one. "Fuck!" I jerk forwards, succeeding in jolting Chakotay forwards also. He sprawls across my lap and I push him off me in agitation.
"Do you know what we've just done?" I say anxiously, jumping off the bunk and quickly pulling my pants back up.
Stepping over to the basin, I scrub at my hands viciously, trying to control my rising panic. What have we done? Oh gods, what have we done?
"We really gave them a show," I gasp out, grabbing a towel and wetting it, and then hurrying back to him to wipe his back and neck hastily.
Handing the towel to him, I scramble around on the floor picking up our t-shirts, turtlenecks and jackets. Panic is setting in fast, and I'm so embarrassed I feel like I'm going to cry.
"I can't believe we did that," I almost sob, pulling the t-shirt on and trying to turn the turtleneck around the right way. I take a deep breath so that I can regain control of my voice. "And you thought you had control problems. It seems that I do to. I'm so sorry. Gods, Chakotay, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. That was all my fault. I thought I knew what I was doing. I didn't mean to go that far. Please believe I didn't."
I finally manage to get the turtleneck on, but Chakotay reaches out and pulls me back on the bunk. "It's all right, Tom. I'm sure they weren't watching, but if they were, I don't care."
I gulp. Oh god! Oh god! "Chakotay, there's something you don't know."
"I know all I need to know. I love you and I'm not going to regret what just happened."
"I think you may change your mind about that," I manage to choke out, my voice wobbling dangerously.
"Never. I just want to hold you, so will you please lie down with me?"
"Chakotay, you don't understand."
"It's okay, Tom. Everything will be fine."
"No, it won't," I squeak.
"Shush, Tom. It will. Now please lie down."
"Will you at least pull up your pants?" I ask in exasperation.
He chuckles. "If you insist."
"I do. And you should probably put on your t-shirt and turtleneck too. I have a strange suspicion we're about to be rescued."
No Regrets - Part 46
Please see part 1 for disclaimer, codes, summary, etc.
"Oh?" Chakotay says carelessly, seemingly unconcerned that he may be about to be caught with his pants down literally.
"There's something I have to tell you."
"You sound worried."
"I am. Will you please get dressed?"
"I'm sure we have plenty of time."
"No, that's just it. I don't think we do." I swallow nervously. "This whole thing was an elaborate setup so that we could resolve our feelings. You see, the Captain..."
"I know," he interrupts.
"Yes. I didn't catch on until after you did, but eventually it even penetrated my thick head."
"How long have you known?"
"Long enough. It dawned on me some time while you were suckling my neck. From the time you had that unexpected panic attack, I've felt something wasn't right. I was just a little slow in piecing it all together."
"That's nice to know. My ministrations are supposed to leave you unable to think at all." I sigh with relief as he finally pulls up his pants and puts on his t-shirt and turtleneck.
"Don't worry. By the time you were finished with my neck I didn't even know my name."
"That's as it should be," I say with a chuckle.
"Tom, I have a confession to make. I realized what you were doing, trying to shake Kathryn and the others up a little, and I decided to just lie back and enjoy it. I wanted to see how far you'd take it. Only... you just kept on going."
"I'm sorry. I lost control. But I don't understand. Why did you insist on continuing if you knew they could be watching?"
"By the time you tried to stop things I knew for absolute certainty that Kathryn wouldn't be watching any longer. I knew she would have turned the monitor off."
"That's more than I knew. The whole time we were doing that I was horrified they were still watching and even more horrified that I was continuing anyway."
"I know. I'm sorry; I couldn't help myself. I just thought I owed you a little something for trying to shake them up like that and not telling me what was happening."
"I guess I deserved it, but what if you're wrong? What if they *did* watch?"
"They didn't," he says firmly. "And they're not listening now. I'll prove it." He raises his voice. "Kathryn, we know what's going on, so you may as well end this all now. Your plan worked. Tom and I are together, so why don't you let us out of here?"
We wait, but nothing happens. "That doesn't prove anything," I argue. "If she doesn't want us to know they were watching, she's hardly going to answer that."
"Tom, you know the Captain. Do you really think she would have left the monitor on?"
"No." I hand him his jacket and shrug mine on also before lying down and pulling him against me. "So now what? We wait for the rescue?"
"I suppose so. Tom, that panic attack you had. You faked that didn't you?"
"Yeah. I wanted to see what would happen. I was suspicious about everything by then, and tested my suspicions by saying a couple of things directed squarely at Harry and B'Elanna that would annoy the hell out of them if they were listening. Sure enough, they proved they were. When the guards came in to collect our breakfast tray I was roughed up a little. Remember?"
"You managed to annoy me too."
"Yeah, well that was just an added bonus."
"What are you saying? You like annoying me?"
"No. I like you roughening me up."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Anyway, I was certain I was right, but thought I should double check just to be sure the two guards reactions weren't just a coincidence. I needed to get a look at these hyposprays of theirs that you spoke of. I didn't know whether you meant their equivalent of our hyposprays or if they looked like ours.
"Since you were the one they kept giving the so-called truth serum to, I had to think of some other way to force them to inject me with something. That's when I thought of having a panic attack so they'd have to sedate me.
"They really slipped up there. This holodeck creation is good, and by keeping me in the dark so much I couldn't tell it wasn't real. And their disguises are great. They even went to the trouble of creating original weapons, but they forgot about the hyposprays the Doc was using."
"Brilliant!" Chakotay says, kissing me soundly. I respond eagerly and it isn't long before things start to spiral out of control once more. We manage to regain control and lie quietly, snuggled together waiting for our rescue.
"You know," Chakotay says softly. "I should have known something wasn't right, right from the start. Our captors were far too nice."
"What do you mean? I think giving us leola root stew was damn cruel."
He laughs. "Haven't you noticed how comfortable this bunk is?"
"Well, now that you mention it..."
"It's as comfortable as my own bed. And pillows? Not to mention the towels."
I join in his laughter and we're still chuckling when the transporter beam engulfs us and we arrive in sickbay.
B'Elanna and I follow the Captain into sickbay and I'm pleased to see Tom and Chakotay holding hands as the Doc waves a tricorder over them.
"Gentlemen! It's so good to have you back," she says with a smile.
"It's good to be back, Captain," they say.
"Chakotay," Tom says suddenly. "You know I love you with all my heart, so I hope you understand that this is something I have to do."
He steps away from Chakotay and up to the Captain. Before anyone can guess his intent, he grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her in for a deep, searing kiss. B'Elanna and I gaze at each other in shock as the kiss continues.
Chakotay clears his throat and Tom pulls away, leaving the Captain breathless and shaky. He steps over to me, and sure enough, grabs me by the shoulders and locks his lips with mine.
I feel a little breathless and shaky myself when he pulls away and turns to B'Elanna. She grins at him and pulls his head down to mesh mouths.
As soon as their kiss finishes Tom moves purposefully towards the Doc, who steps back waving a hypospray around in the air.
"One step closer, Mr. Paris, and I'll inject you with this sample of Regallian Flu."
"Doc, I'm just trying to say thank you."
"Thank you will suffice," the Doc sniffs.
"But I don't feel that's enough. You've helped make me the happiest man alive, and..."
"That can't be true, Tom," Chakotay interrupts. "*I'm* the happiest man alive."
They stand there grinning at one another for several seconds before Chakotay turns to the Captain. "How did you manage to find us?"
"We were lucky that your captors were headed in our direction. They flew straight into us."
"Talk about a coincidence," Tom exclaims, failing miserably to keep a straight face. The Captain refuses to look at him, keeping her eyes on Chakotay instead.
"It was a simple matter to negotiate your release."
"I'll bet it was," Tom murmurs.
There's a twinkle in Chakotay's eyes as well, and the Captain sighs. "You know. Tom told you."
"No. He didn't have to."
"We thought you'd be a little upset with us."
"I'm too happy to be upset. But I would like to add my thanks to Tom's. I don't know if we ever would have sorted things out without your help. Now, if you'll excuse us, Tom and I still have a few things to discuss."
"Of course. I think you both need a day to recover from your ordeal before returning to duty. What do you think, Doctor?"
"In my expert medical opinion, I couldn't agree more."
The Captain sighs happily as they leave arm in arm. "I do like a happy ending and I believe those two are going to be very happy."
"Me, too," B'Elanna says, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Me, three," I grin.
We turn to leave, but the Doc halts me in my tracks. "Mr. Kim, where do you think you're going? Mr. Paris is not back on duty yet. You'll be required to work in here until he returns."
"But, there's nothing happening in here."
"That's why I thought it was a good opportunity to practice your birthing techniques."
"Childbirth, Mr. Kim. It's your next lesson."
"It's not necessary to learn that. I'll only be in here for the rest of today and tomorrow."
"It would pay to be prepared. You never know what may happen."
"But, no one's even pregnant."
"That could change at any moment."
"Even if someone's out there getting pregnant as we speak, they won't be giving birth in the next couple of days."
"I think a true holographic representation of the event should be your first step," the Doc says, ignoring me completely. I can hear the Captain and B'Elanna smothering their laughter as they step out into the corridor.
"You're really going to sink the boot in for these last couple of days, aren't you, Doc?" I ask sulkily.
"I don't know what you mean. Now, where did I put that program?"
"So, what did you want to discuss?" Tom asks as soon as he's seated on my couch.
"I can't think of a single thing at the moment," I answer.
"I thought you told the Captain we had some things to discuss."
"I did, and I'm sure we will have in the days ahead, but I can't think of anything right now. Except for the one obvious thing, of course."
"Oh. You want to know why I didn't tell you when I realized what was really going on. I'm sorry, I know I should have, but... well... when I woke up from my supposed panic attack, I wanted to sort a few things out in my own head. Why the Captain and the others had gone to so much trouble was a very big issue with me.
"They obviously wanted us to be together. They were convinced we could be happy, and I started to wonder why I was so convinced I'd end up even more miserable than I was. I knew I was in love with you and deep down I knew you loved me too. You're the first person I've ever truly felt I could tell anything to. Anything.
"I've always kept some things back from people. Even Harry and B'Elanna. But with you it's different. Not only do I want to let you know all there is to know about me, I want to know everything there is to know about you too."
I pull him up from the couch and into my arms. "It's the same for me, Tom. I feel exactly the same way."
"It made me realize that you were the one for me. The *only* one for me, Chakotay. I knew then that if I didn't take the chance that the Captain and the others had offered us, to sort things out, I'd regret it for the rest of my life."
"I'm glad you took that chance, Tom." We kiss passionately for some time before breaking apart. "Thank you for telling me that, but I had something else in mind to discuss actually."
"Yes, but I think it can wait a bit longer. I need a shower."
"Me, too. Do you want to meet for dinner?"
"Meet? Are you going somewhere?"
"I thought I'd go back to my quarters and shower and change."
"You could shower here," I wink suggestively.
"Well... yes, but I don't have any clothes to change into."
"Oh dear, now there's a problem. Tom, after our shower I have a very important matter to discuss with you, and to be honest, you're not going to need any clothes for it."
"I made a promise to you, Tom. And I take my promises very seriously. You asked me to show you the best way to have anal sex, and, well... a promise is a promise."
He laughs as he takes off his jacket and throws it on the couch. "I suppose I can always put these through the fresher. It's not like I'm going to be needing them for a while."
"I have every intention of your not needing them until it's time to report for duty," I tell him as he takes off his boots.
"I like the sound of that," he says with a grin, pulling off his turtleneck and t-shirt.
"Um... Tom? Unless something happened in that cell that I don't know about, that was my turtleneck you were wearing."
"It was?" He looks down at the commander pips on the collar and then over at my own collar. "Do you think they noticed?"
"I would think so."
Laughing, I hold him once more, burying my face in his neck and gliding my hands over his back and down to the waistband of his pants. Since he's already unfastened them it's an easy matter to slide them down, and soon they're pooling around his ankles.
He moans as I nuzzle at his neck. "I think you need to get undressed... now."
"I think you may be right," I groan, pulling myself away from him. Desire courses through me as my eyes roam over his body, taking in every detail as he steps out of his pants and shorts and reaches out to pull me against him once more.
"Let me help you," he whispers and soon I'm as naked as he is. Taking his hand, I lead him into the bathroom and turn on the shower, then we both step in under the spray. We use the soap to gently caress each other's bodies, taking our time to explore every inch of one another, moving together slowly and sensually.
I can feel my climax building gradually within me. It's a continuous, steady climb upwards, and feels so wonderful that I begin to cry out. Tom cries with me and we reach our goal together, falling to the floor of the shower stall when our legs will no longer hold us up.
It's some time before either of us can move and we almost crawl from the stall, standing up slowly. I grab a towel and gently dry Tom off, as he seems incapable of doing it for himself. Leading him over to the bed, I help him to lie down and then towel myself off quickly.
My heart almost breaks when I see tears streaming down his face. "Spirits, Tom. What is it?"
"I... that... was so beautiful," he chokes out. "I never... I feel so wonderful. I... It's never felt that good before."
I sigh with relief and lie down next to him, pulling him into my arms. "It's never felt like that for me either."
We lay entwined for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of being together, and then slowly begin to kiss over and over again.
Our kisses become harder, hungrier, as the passion between us builds higher and higher.
"I want you to take me," Tom whispers huskily as we part to take in great gulps of air.
"Are you sure?"
I grope around in the bedside table for the lube and tell him to lie on his back with his knees up. He looks a little nervous.
"This won't hurt, will it?"
"Not if I do it properly, and I intend to do it properly." I kiss him softly. "Please don't worry. I love you. I'll never do anything to hurt you."
He nods, his eyes full of love. "I know. I trust you."
I prepare him carefully, tenderly, savoring every moment, until neither of us can wait any longer. He's more than ready for me as I place two pillows under him and lift his legs up over my shoulders.
Our joining is slow and gentle, gradually escalating until we're both sobbing with the intensity of the powerful emotions flowing between us. This is the culmination of the feelings we share. It's more than just making love. We're fusing our hearts, minds and souls together, knowing we'll never be apart again. We'll never be the same again.
We scream out as our climaxes hit us simultaneously, so strong, so intense, that it feels almost as if we've been transported from our bodies and are hovering above for a few moments. We both collapse and then hold one another tightly, tears streaming from our eyes as we slowly calm down.
Feeling too sated to move, I can only moan as Tom eventually rolls me off of him, kisses me gently, and then climbs out of bed. He returns quickly, cleans us both up, kisses me soundly once more, and then snuggles in against me again.
"You *are* all right, aren't you?" he asks softly. "You didn't have a heart attack or anything, did you?"
"Very funny," I mumble, wondering if I can summon up the energy to pinch his ass. I decide I can... barely.
"Tom, there's no such thing as a dipshit," I say tiredly, yawning loudly. "If you're going to call me something, then at least make it something that I know."
"That's better. Now I know what you're talking about. I'm an authority on assholes."
He laughs into my neck. "God, I love you."
Tears gather in my eyes and I hold him as tightly as I can. "I love you too, Tom. I love you too."
I watch Chakotay as he sleeps. He's such a beautiful man. I thank all the Gods that he loves me as much as I love him. I trace his tattoo with my fingers, over and over again and then lean forward to kiss his forehead. My fingers glide lower and I trace the outline of his face and then trail them down his neck and shoulders.
I pull him close and he moans into my chest. Is it really possible to love somebody this much? I swallow the lump of happiness that forms in my throat at the thought.
Caressing his back, I slowly move my hands lower until I'm running my hands along his buttocks, lightly dipping my fingers in and out of the cleft of his ass.
I feel him shiver and he gives a small groan.
"Your hands," he mumbles.
"What about my hands?" I say, sucking on his neck.
"Were you touching my ass while I was asleep?"
"No, I was not," I reply with a laugh, delving into the cleft once more.
He groans again and ducks his head down to lick my nipple. "I think it's time you stopped playing with it and used it," he teases. I cry out as he suddenly growls and bites me and then takes my poor abused nipple into his mouth and sucks on it gently.
I curse loudly when he stops, reaches behind me, and then sits up. He pulls me up to sit beside him and slaps the tube of lube into my hand. "Now that I've shown you what to do, it's your turn, Helmboy."
"Helmboy, is it?" I laugh, biting his shoulder. "Okay, Chuckles, roll over. I think I need to see what I'm doing, otherwise anything may happen."
"Promises, promises," he teases rolling onto his stomach and looking over at me expectantly.
"All right, you asked for it," I say, squeezing more and more lube onto my finger. "Look out below," I warn, thrusting the digit in with no remorse.
Chakotay jumps at the sudden assault. "Tom!"
"Yes, Chakotay?" I ask innocently, wriggling my finger around a little. "Oh, dear! Did I do something wrong? I thought that's what you're supposed to do."
"I'll get you... for... that..." I add another finger. "Oh... Spirits! Oh... Tom!"
"I love you too, Chakotay," I say softly. "I love you too."
Thank you everyone for all the wonderful support and feedback throughout the writing of this. It's appreciated more than I can ever say. And I'd like to add a very special thanks to Monica for all her helpful thoughts and ideas and a very big hug to Jean for helping me through a bad case of insecurity and nerves that seemed to hit me right before the end.