CPR: The Chakotay/Paris Realm

Title: Do You Trust me?

Author: Jeanette Kofoed

Series: Voyager

Codes: Voy. CP and P/?

Parts: 1/1

Rating: NC-17. This story mentions violence and abuse.

Archive: ParisNights (Elisabeth) Other places: You can do so if you want to. Please just tell me where, so I know where this end up.

Summary: Someone on Voyager has been murdered and everything points to Tom Paris.

Disclaimers: All characters belong to Paramount. I'm just borrowing them for a while to have my wicked way with them.

Dedicated to Elisabeth Kuijl, for all the wonderful betaing she has done for me and especially on this one. Thank you.

Feedback is welcomed and deeply wanted: [succubus@get2net.dk]

written March and April 2000.


Screams tore through the darkness of the room. Eyes filled with hatred stared at its victim and once again slashed out at the man lying before him with the crooked knife he was holding in his hands.

He looked over to the form sitting in the corner very still. Hadn't he known better he would have believed that he was dead? But he wasn't. He looked around. Blood was everywhere. He looked down at the dead man in front of him. He hadn't even noticed that the other man had stopped screaming. He licked the knife, revelling in the taste. He heard a voice coming nearer and nearer. Damn, he couldn't be seen here. It would ruin everything. He had gotten one of the things he wanted. Revenge. Bittersweet revenge.

He left the room and headed for his quarters, the taste of blood still lingering in his mouth, the smell slowly drifting into his nose. That smell. The smell was the best, a sweet and metallic smell.

A few seconds later a security guard passing saw blood streaming out from under the door and quickly called for backup. Three men quietly opened the door. Their eyes fell on the body lying chopped up in the middle of the floor. They had to look away, the sight too strong for even the most experienced.

A little whimper told them that someone else was in the room. There, in the shadows he sat. His eyes stared straight ahead at nothing. His clothes were covered in blood. They attempted to make contact but it was futile.

Tuvok arrived only minutes after. He walked to the man sitting in the shadows. He looked at the quiet form sitting before him and stared directly in empty but deep blue eyes.

For many that day started with crying over the loss of their crewmember, for others such as Janeway and Tuvok, the day started with filling and filing reports.

After that they walked side by side to sickbay to see the doctors report and the suspect.

The Doctor walked quietly around the man lying on the biobed. His patient showed signs of shock and nothing he did seemed to wake him up. The blood he had been covered in when he was brought in was that of the murdered crewman Kenneth Dalby. He had been cleaned and was now dressed in a standard blue medical gown.

The Doctor was at a loss. He, for one had never believed that Thomas Eugene Paris would be capable of murder.


Harry walked into the mess hall and looked around for Tom. On the way here he had felt the silence and the sorrow radiating from the people he passed and as he had stepped through the door he had felt the same eerie and sorrowful silence.

Dismissing the feeling, he sat down at the table Tom and him always shared. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice B'Elanna sitting down in front of him. "So did you hear?” she asked him. Harry almost jumped out of the chair, totally surprised. "Damn it B'Elanna, you just scared ten years out of me. And what is that I should have heard."

B'Elanna looked at him as if he was stupid. ‘Had he not heard?’

Dalby had been murdered and the rumour was that Tom had done it. Where had Harry been? "Don't tell me that you didn't hear that Dalby was killed and that Tom is under suspicion?" B'Elanna didn't have time to finish what she was saying. Harry was out of his seat as soon as she had said the name Dalby and Tom in the same sentence. After having been told that Tom was in sickbay, he ran not caring if he met a superior officer on the way.


Chakotay had been called to sickbay. The doctor's only explanation had been that someone was in need of his experience as a counselor. Chakotay could only guess that it had something to do with the murder of Dalby. The sickbay doors didn't open as he came; only his high rank-clearance got him through. Something was going on in there. As he stepped in, he saw Janeway and Tuvok approaching. Yes, something was definitely going on.


"I'm glad that you could come Captain and you too Chakotay, but I don't understand what you are doing here Tuvok?" the doctor said. Tuvok arched his eyebrow and explained: "Since he is a suspect he has to be under guard. We can not allow that he commits such a crime again."

The doctor couldn't believe what he was hearing, Chakotay on the other hand didn't understand what they were both talking about and was about to ask when Janeway interrupted the two: "Gentlemen, could you please save this for later. Right now I think a little talk with Mr Paris would be in order." Chakotay almost lost his balance as he heard who the suspect was. He had never made it to mess hall this morning. If he had, he would probably have known by now. ‘I just can't believe it. Tom couldn't kill anyone, could he?’

The doctor was not about to let the Chief of Security have his claws in his patient, not while he was in the state he was in. There had been a reason for him calling Chakotay here. "Captain, I'm afraid that getting Mr. Paris to talk would be impossible. Right now he is in shock and if he stays like this much longer he will become catatonic. I would appreciate it if we think about his health before you attempt to make him talk." Janeway hadn't anticipated this. She hadn't believed that Tom could ever kill anyone, but he was the only one who had been present at scene of the crime and Dalby's blood had covered every inch of the Ensign's body.

The doctor led the three officers to the bed where Tom lay. His eyes were lifeless and blank. They didn't have the lively and happy blue that usually filled them, instead there was a cold greyness to them. He was laying completely still, not a single muscle moved and his skin looked pale, too pale.

Chakotay had never seen anyone look like this before. He tried to make eye contact with his future patient. The eyes didn't even flicker; it was as if they just couldn't see. There was no life in the eyes that Chakotay had grown to love over these past few years.

He turned around and looked at Janeway: "Kathryn it's bad. Either he just plays a lot better than I have given him credit for or he has already turned into a catatonic state." Janeway understood and she could see the sincerity in her First Commanders eyes. She motioned for the three to follow her to the doctor’s office. As soon as the doors closed behind them, she asked what she had been dreading to ask. "Did he do it?"

Tuvok was the first one to answer: "I believe that he might have done it. 'Though I can't forget the fact that Dalby was sliced into pieces with a knife. None of my officers have found the murder weapon yet and that is what concerns me. They told me that he had not moved since they found him and I do not believe that he has since the murder occurred, and then he would not have had the time to throw the murder weapon away. There is a chance that it was self defence but given my observations of the position the victim lay, I believe he was knocked down before he was cut."

The doctor took over: "I believe that if Tom killed Dalby, it was in self defence. I have examined him. Even though there is no signs of him being attacked today. I have found evidence that Tom have been sexual assaulted for a long period of time, something like half a year. He has also been beaten on occasions."

Janeway and Chakotay stared at the doctor in shock. Tom had been assaulted and they had not noticed? Chakotay started thinking about the blank look in Tom's eyes. It reminded him of bajoran children who had just seen their parents get slaughtered but still it held something that Chakotay couldn't remember ever seeing before. It was as if though Tom was caught in a mental prison. The way he saw it there were two options. One: Dalby was the one that abused Tom and Tom had slowly started to mentally break down and then he had just snapped and killed Dalby.

The second option was that someone else had committed the felony and Tom was a witness. Seeing a man getting sliced could have brought Tom over the edge to a mental breakdown. He was in favour of the second. There was no way Tom could have committed murder. He might be cocky and a pain in the ass, but just under the surface he had a good and kind spirit. Now was the time to repay Tom his life-debt. "Captain, I believe that it is possible that someone else murdered Dalby. If I can counsel Tom, I'm sure that I can bring him back to us. It won't be easy. Who knows what kind of demons we'll encounter but I'll be there for him because I truly do not believe that Tom did this."

‘And I hope I'm right,’ Chakotay thought as he had voiced his opinion. Janeway thought about it. If Chakotay of all people didn't believe that Tom had done it, then maybe he hadn't. Janeway herself had doubts about the Ensign's innocence, but she couldn't deny that something else could have happened and right now the only one who seemed to be able to shed some light on the case was Tom. She hoped that Chakotay would be able to heal him. If not then she would lose a good pilot, colleague and friend. That was one thing she wasn't prepared to do, without evidence.


B'Elanna had about had enough. All she heard people talking about was how this had to happen, that Tom was crazy and would have killed someone sooner or later. She knew Tom, at first she had believed the rumours about Tom being involved in Dalby's murder to be untrue but as the hours passed and Tom was still in sickbay together with Tuvok, Chakotay and Janeway, even she started to have doubts, but still...

Harry had come back to her after trying to get into sickbay to Tom. He had been denied access. B'Elanna knew that Tom wouldn't do something like this. He had told her about Caldik Prime, how he couldn't stand blood. He had been lying trapped under a puddle of metal, he had told her how he had been forced to stare into the eyes of his dead friends and how he could see their blood streaming towards him.

Back when the two had been dating, she had forced him to tell her after he had awoken from a terrible nightmare. Soon after they had broken up, mostly because she couldn't help him. But they were still friends. Good friends and she would stand beside him and if she could do anything about it she would stop these rumours too.


Janeway sat heavily down in her chair. The day had been exhausting and they had gotten no further in the investigation. They had found evidence that Kenneth Dalby was the presumed abuser of Tom. Since the doctor couldn't find any genetically evidence that Dalby had done it, they had to ask Dalby's friends about his whereabouts the last six months.

Susan Nicolletti told them that Dalby often was seen in Sandrines, but she couldn't say if Tom was with him. They managed to find out that Tom and Dalby had been together through Naomi. She had seen her uncle Tommy go with Dalby into his quarters. Still it only made Dalby a suspect and they couldn't accuse him of anything now that he was dead. It all came back to Tom; he was the only one who could tell them the truth.


Chakotay sat observing Tom. He had, together with the Doctor, moved him into a sitting position. Tom hadn't moved from the position they had put him in. Chakotay had asked permission to move Tom to his quarters. It would make him more comfortable. Chakotay knew what he had to accomplish. He had to make Tom trust him. That couldn't be that difficult but on the other hand with Tom it could be impossible.


It was dark. He could see little but he heard everything. The voices. The Captain's, Chakotay's, Tuvok's and even the Doctor's. He didn't remember how he had gotten here, but he knew he was safe here. More safe than any place else and he intended on staying. Now he was little Tommy and no one could harm him, if he only remembered what had happened to bring him here.

There was blood and there were screams and then there was the voice saying: "You're a little whore aren't you. I won't kill you he will die. He will die." It was a cold and eerie voice. If only he could remember.

Chakotay's voice penetrated his thoughts. He was pleading: "Tom, you have to look at me, I need to know that you are still there. Can you hear me?” Tom wanted so much to do what he was saying but he couldn't. The darkness that kept him safe also held him as a prisoner. The dark that surrounded was like a gage, a painful gage. Whenever he tried to go through, pain swept through his body and left him exhausted and even more helpless.

Chakotay looked straight into Tom's eyes as he talked to him, for a moment he thought he saw a flicker of life but then it was gone. ‘If only you could trust me Tom.’


Tom was moved to Chakotay's quarters. Janeway had told the crew that Tom was under medical attention, but no one seemed to understand. Some believed he was playing and they weren't going to let him get away with murder. Others did also believe he had done it but they also truly believed that he had lost his mind. Then there were those few who didn't think he had done it, but they were a small number.

He observed the others and made sure to keep the fire going. If he could play this right, he would walk free and have what he wanted, Thomas Eugene Paris. He picked up his tray and walked to the table beside Ayala, Nicolletti and some of the others that still resented Tom Paris and didn't believe he was being punished. If he pulled this off right, he could get them to work for him and make sure that no one would interfere in his plans.

Vorik would make sure of that. Yes indeed he would. No one was going to take his mate away from him, not Kenneth Dalby, not anyone.


Harry stood at Ops thinking about Tom. It had been three days since Dalby had been murdered. Harry and B'Elanna had tried to stop the rumours together, but they hadn't succeeded. It was as if someone kept making up new rumours.

This was a fact Tuvok was aware of too. Rumours had made certain parts of the crew more violent and angry. They wanted to deal with Paris themselves and it interfered with the investigations. Tuvok had found it necessary to post security guards outside the commander’s quarters. Both to make sure no one got in and also to make sure Tom didn't get out. He was still skeptic about Tom's innocence. He was well aware of the pilot's acting skills and he was sure that the pilot could keep the play up for a long time if he was the murderer.

Chakotay sat glancing at Harry and Tuvok. He knew that he had to make Tom speak or Tom would end up being hurt. Dalby hadn't been a loved man by many but the buried hatred some people held for Tom, made them say that they were good friends with Dalby that way giving them an excuse to hurt Tom. Chakotay hadn't gotten any further with Tom than he had three days ago. If he talked long enough he was certain that he could see life in those eyes but it soon disappeared.

He glanced at the cronometer and saw that his shift was over. He walked back to his quarters fast. He talked to the guards standing outside his quarters before entering. Chakotay stepped through the open door and looked at the couch where he had left Tom that morning. Nothing. He stood still for a moment and for a while he almost thought Tom indeed was guilty and had run away unnoticed.

That was until he heard a small scratching sound coming from behind the couch. He followed the sound and the sight that greeted him would have made him laugh if he hadn't known how serious the situation was. Tom was sitting on the floor with some old-fashioned paper and pencils that Chakotay had left behind, in hope that if Tom wouldn't communicate verbally then he would do so in pictures.

It looked like it had worked. Tom sat humming while drawing eyes, dark eyes. He didn't look up at Chakotay; it was as if though he hadn't even noticed him, the only thing looking was those eyes on the paper. They scared him. And apparently they scared Tom too. As he had finished drawing he drew his legs up in front of himself and wrapped his arms around them. Chakotay sat still observing Tom but when Tom started crying, he sat down behind the man and drew him into his arms while saying soothing words. At first Tom resisted but after a while he relaxed against Chakotay's chest.

Chakotay was sure he heard Tom speak, but he couldn't quite make it out, something with: "Close your eyes, please don't cry. Hush hush." Only small pieces made sense. The form in his arms gradually grew limp and Chakotay knew he was asleep. This was a good sign. Tom had spoken. He picked up the light man and carried him to his bed where he carefully laid him down. After making sure Tom was well put in, he left his quarters and went towards sickbay. On his way there he commed Janeway and Tuvok.


He had just passed the corner as he saw Chakotay coming out of the turbolift. He listened to the conversation the Commander was having with someone. It didn't look good for him: "He has started to respond, not verbally but in pictures and he has cried. That is a very good sign. Meet me in sickbay and we can discuss it there." He watched as Chakotay walked past him. He didn't see him. Damn, this was not supposed to happen. Tom wasn't supposed to respond. He hadn't anticipated this. Well, a change in plans would just have to be made. He would have to make contact with Tom and finish the bond. People were so stupid believing he had gotten control under over his Pon Farr. He liked it so much better this way. No need to keep his feelings under control. He could show them and share them, and he planned on sharing with Tom.


Janeway and Tuvok entered sickbay and went to Chakotay. He quickly started saying what he wanted: "Captain, Tom has come out of his catatonic state even though he is still physical an adult, he has regressed mentally to childhood. Tom has regressed to a time where he felt safe. As I came home today he was sitting on the floor drawing these," Chakotay showed the picture Tom had been drawing while Chakotay was watching. "Tom talked about eyes and this picture, well look at it. The red is blood and then the eyes; they are clearly humanoid eyes but not his. I truly believe that he saw someone kill Dalby."

Janeway looked at Chakotay as he spoke. He sounded like an excited child, but she could see what he was talking about. The pictures were creepy and very child like. She thought it was time for her to talk to Tom. "Chakotay let me talk to him, I'll not ask him directly about the murder." Chakotay looked at her, he wasn't certain if it was good idea but on the other hand, Janeway could help. "You could be helpful but I don't know if he will talk." Tuvok went back to his own work after being denied talking to Tom and Janeway and Chakotay walked back to his quarters.

They were both unaware of the eyes following them and then sneaking back to his quarters. He had listened into the conversation and some of the fear he had for being found out had disappeared. Tom was not out of the mental prison he had created for him but something had clearly gone wrong. Tom was supposed to stay catatonic for at least a few weeks. All he needed was to see Tom and he could bring him back to the prison but considering that there was security in front of Tom's quarters now, it wouldn't be possible.


Janeway stepped into Chakotay's quarters. She walked to the bed where Chakotay said he had left Tom. He wasn't there. She heard sound coming from the bathroom and walked in. She had to force herself from laughing. On the floor sat Tom, painting Chakotay's floor. He had made pictures of suns and stars but something caught Janeway's look. There were the eyes again.

Tom had apparently heard that someone was there and had stopped painting. He now sat there, looking at Janeway with big eyes. "I'm sorry Ma'am," he suddenly said. Janeway almost thought Tom had returned but she noticed that "Ma'am" lacked the sarcastic and yet respectful edge to it. She decided to talk to him: "Hello Tom, no need to be sorry. It's not my floor." It took some time for Tom to understand it but as he did he gave the nice woman a big smile. "Tom do you know where you are?" He shook his head. "You are onboard a spaceship named Voyager." This apparently got Tom's attention, for he dropped the colours he had been holding. "A spaceship..."

The rest of the day had gone by showing Tom pictures of Voyager and looking at stars with him. Janeway had forgotten that merely hours before she had believed that Tom might be guilty but know she was a firm believer in his innocence.

Chakotay stood in the background watching the two. He felt strange when being around Tom. He wanted nothing more than to hold him and feel him against him, but he also felt guilty about his feelings. He always knew he found the pilot attractive. Hell everyone found him attractive, but Chakotay had never believed to have any chances with the man. That was also why he had treated Tom the way he did but now he wanted nothing else than to protect Tom.

Even though Tom could act shallow and cocky, he was one of the most intelligent and attentive, loving and caring persons Chakotay had ever met. Tom tended to make a show and let people see what they wanted to see, but Chakotay had found during the last couple of years that there was more to Tom than he let people see. Admitting to having misjudged a person was not something Chakotay did easily, so he had never told Tom that he was sorry for his aggressive behaviour and uncooperative nature against the young man. Right now it was something he regretted and as soon as Tom was better he would make up for it.


Vorik looked at his quarters, he had broken all the things he had, which were not much, in a moment of rage. He knew that he hovered at the edge of insanity but at the moment he didn't care. He had been so close four days ago. So close to touching his mate, but Dalby had interfered and he had paid for it. Vorik lay down on his bed and tried to sleep. He kept thinking about the long lean body laying beneath him, submitting his mind, soul and body to him, only to him.

He would make sure Tom Paris was his.


Tuvok pondered the murder case. He had found the murder weapon, a vulcan ritual knife called Bantee. Very few knew about this. He didn't believe that a vulcan could have committed this crime, it was too brutal. Still he couldn't deny the facts. The doctor had told him that it would have taken a great amount of strength to do the damage that had been done upon Dalby and even though Tom Paris was no weakling, he was no heavy weight Boxing Champion either.


Janeway had left and Chakotay was now alone in his quarters with Tom. Both Harry and B'Elanna had called and requested that they were allowed to see Tom. Chakotay had said to them that it would have to wait until Tom was feeling better.

Chakotay went into the bedroom where Tom was trying to get his buttons buttoned. Chakotay smiled inwardly at the innocence the man signalled and went to help. He had never once spent this much time with Tom and even though Tom was only a child mentally, Chakotay couldn't overlook the fact that Tom's body was fully-grown. He felt himself getting aroused at the sight of Tom's naked flesh and it embarrassed him and disturbed him. It made him feel like a pedofile.

Since Tom had refused to eat anything that Neelix had cooked, which Chakotay could understand, he had to find something else. While Chakotay was thinking about what to order, Tom went over and did it himself. He walked back to Chakotay smiling, with a pizza in his hands. Chakotay could no longer suppress his laughter. "What's so funny Mr Chakotay?" Tom asked not really understanding what was going on, and still not understanding where his parents were. He had awoken here and neither his mother nor the Admiral was anywhere near. He knew well enough not to ask. If the Admiral had put him here, there would be a reason for it. And the people were so nice. Especially this Mr Chakotay. He kept felling that there was something that he should remember, but quickly forgot about it and concentrated in his pizza instead.

A flash of memories suddenly attacked Tom. He cried out as a pounding pain began in his head. Chakotay quickly got a hold of Tom and ordered the transporter to beam them to sickbay.


Vorik felt the pain. Even though the bond wasn't complete he could still vaguely feel what Tom did and felt. He then knew what he feared most had happened. Tom had somehow broken the mental barriers Vorik had created on him.


Tom felt himself come back. He had been unable to communicate with Chakotay. Only Tommy had been able to make it to him. But Tommy wasn't old enough to understand what was going on and couldn't tell Chakotay. Tom felt the pain as he stepped through the barrier and then he felt nothing.

Time went by without him feeling anything and then he could hear voices in the background: "I can now conclude that some telepathic attack was made on Mr Paris.........." Then he couldn't hear the rest only Chakotay's voice broke through, "I told you he didn't do it..." ‘Do what?’ Was Tom's last thought, before he slipped back into the world where he felt nothing.


Chakotay stood looking at Tom as he spoke. He wanted Tom to wake up right here and now so that Tuvok and Janeway could apologize for not believing in him. It was a strange feeling he had, this protectiveness, but he liked it.

Tuvok hadn't said a word since he had been called here. He had hoped that it hadn't been a vulcan who had done this. But who else had the strength and the mental capabilities to do this? He looked at Chakotay and thought it would be for the best to keep him out of this for the time being. He was too emotionally involved.

Even though Chakotay wasn't aware of it, Tuvok knew that Chakotay found the pilot attracting. As for Tom he wasn't sure that he harbored the same feelings towards the commander. He knew that he was homosexual, since the pilot had once come to him seeking out help to get over a break-up with Vorik. At this time Tuvok was unaware that Vorik and Tom had been seeing each other. Tom had told him that it had happened right after Vorik's Pon Farr.

Tuvok halted the directions his thoughts were going. Vorik. Tom and Vorik. This was something he had overseen. If Vorik's Pon Farr hadn't been completely erased or completed it could have led to insanity. It was rare and uncommon among vulcans but it could be a possibility.

He took Janeway to the side and let her in on his hypothesis; she agreed that Chakotay should not be told.


Tom felt a hand on his and opened his eyes. He looked down and saw Chakotay sleeping beside him. He smiled down at the man and thought about everything that had happened the last four days. He remembered everything but was unable to communicate properly. He knew everything Chakotay had done for him and it made him happy. Happy because the one man he thought could never love him, did. The one man he respected more than life loved him. With those thoughts he drifted back to sleep.

He was unaware of the other presence in his mind and of the danger that awaited him and the man that who’s love he had just recently found.


Tuvok and Janeway walked down to Vorik's quarters with security guards right behind them. They didn't have the evidence but Tuvok knew that a suspect of such a crime, should be put behind proper bars and be guarded well. The only thing they found in his quarters was his commbagde.

The entire ship was scanned but the scans showed that Vorik was not onboard. Janeway thought quietly to herself: ‘This at least makes it easier. I won't be forced to put him in the brig and let him stay there until we get home.’ With that she walked out of the room casting one last glance at the empty room before heading to the Ready Room.


Chakotay awoke to a pair of blue eyes staring at him. "Hi Tom," he said. He was surprised by Tom's answer: "You should have told me Chakotay. You should have let your feelings show." Chakotay didn't believe what he was hearing at first but as he looked in to Tom's eyes he saw affection and love directed at him. "I'm sorry Tom. I just didn't believe that you could love a man or me. And I was afraid that you would laugh at me, for thinking that you could love an old man like me."

Tom looked at Chakotay and then he broke into a grin. "Then you're just as stupid as I am. I believed the same thing. Except for the old man thing." The two talked and Tom quietly told him what had happened. He saw the anger on Chakotay's face as he explained the short version of the events that had transpired the last few months. He decided that he didn't like the anger and he made a decision. He would make it disappear.

With that he carefully took a hold of Chakotay's chin and lowered it down to his lips.

At first he only brushed Chakotay's soft and sweet lips but gradually he deepened the kiss and let his tongue slowly feel Chakotay's lips. As Chakotay gave access, Tom moved closer to him and started moving his tongue around, feeling everything he could inside Chakotay's mouth. It felt wonderful, the taste, sweet and so much... Chakotay.

Chakotay didn't want Tom to have all the fun and started sucking Tom's tongue, smiling as he heard him moan. The sound was like a symphony to him. This, he wanted to hear more of.

The doctor on the other hand, thought now was the right time to stop the two, before they moved to more intimate grounds. "I assume the patient is well again. If you do not mind I would like to make some tests." Chakotay almost jumped out of his skin, Tom only grinned and took a hold of Chakotay's hand. His eyes making a promise to Chakotay to continue this and quietly thanking himself for the happy face he had given Chakotay.

Chakotay walked out of sickbay and headed towards the ready room. He wanted to talk to Janeway. As he reached her, he found out what had happened while he was with Tom. He was stunned to learn that Vorik had disappeared. It angered him too. He wanted to hurt him and make him feel what Tom had felt, the pain, the humiliation and the anger over not being able to stop it, the abuse.

Janeway wasn't convinced that he was gone and told Chakotay to go back to Tom and make sure he was all right.


Vorik moved fast through the tubes. He grinned to himself. 'I must be the most brilliant man in the universe. They actually think that I have left the ship.' He was feeling stronger and more powerful, never once did he consider that maybe he had crossed the line from sanity to insanity. He moved fast towards his prey, his mate and his beloved. Thomas must be dumb to believe that he could just walk away. Not from him, not from Vorik. He had felt a delightful satisfaction, tearing Dalby's flesh from his bones and he was going to enjoy doing the very same thing to the new imposter that had dared to invade his territory.


Tuvok sat silently in his quarters. How had he overseen something like this? He should have seen the clear signs. The way Vorik had interacted more with people and the way he had easily lost his temper. There had been a reason for his vulcan ancestors to suppress and learn how to control their feelings. Back then they had been violent and emotional and dangerous, and through meditation and emotional control they had learned how they could master this barbaric side of them.

If a vulcan survived the Pon Farr without bonding or meditating the subject would either live to the next Pon Farr or the mind would get chemically unbalanced. Tuvok was now positive that it was what had happened to Vorik.

Tom had chosen the wrong moment to enter a relationship with Vorik. Vorik's mind cried out for a bond and Tom had gotten caught in the net.

All this Tuvok could understand. Tom had been willing at first to have sexual intercourse with Vorik, but as Vorik grew more violent he had refused and that had resulted in the abuse. Vorik, with his superior strength, had gotten carried away and hurt Tom in the process. But where did Dalby fit in? Had he made advances at Tom and thereby caused Vorik to attack or had something else transpired. Tuvok was without enough material to make a possible conclusion. One thing he could say and that was that Vorik would return to Tom, unless something had happened to him while being off the ship. That was if he had even left the ship.


Tom sat silently on the couch in his quarters waiting for Chakotay. He had never felt so happy in his entire life. He had actually thought that life was going for the better until the incident with B'Elanna and Pon Farr.

He was still angry with Vorik but then again you just couldn't blame a guy for something that was part of his biological circle. Vorik had approached him two days after the Pon Farr incident and Tom had found himself unable to say no to an invitation to Sandrines. And that was how it had all started. Vorik has started comming him and soon Tom found himself, in a relationship with Vorik. It had been good at first. Tom couldn't really understand why Vorik was acting so...so Human.

But at the time he hadn't really cared. The man he desired had shown no sign of attraction to him and he had felt that it was stupid to pursue something that was merely a dream. If he had only known that this wasn't a dream, he would never had gotten caught in this. He remembered that Vorik had been there when Dalby was killed, but he couldn't recall the details. Not that it mattered anyway. He knew Vorik had done it. And he knew why.

Tom made a decision while waiting for Chakotay. He was going to talk to Tuvok, tell him everything. He reached for his commbadge and pressed it: "Ensign Paris to Tuvok." Only seconds passed before Tuvok answered: "Yes Ensign. What can I do for you?" Tom hesitated not sure how to ask: "Could I please speak to you for moment, sir. I wish to make a statement."

Tuvok informed Tom that he would be there within a couple of minutes. Tom stood up from the couch and paced around his quarters. He vaguely heard the door hiss as it opened and turned around.


Tuvok was on his way to Tom's quarters as he ran upon Chakotay, whom apparently was heading the same direction. "Commander Chakotay, may I accommodate you to Ensign Paris quarters?" Chakotay looked at Tuvok and, if he hadn't known that Tuvok was Vulcan, he would have sworn he saw a smile flash across his face. 'Leave it to a Vulcan to know everything.' Chakotay silently said to himself before answering. "You may. And may I ask you what your business there is?" They stepped into the turbolift. "My presence has been requested by Ensign Paris. He wishes to make a statement." Tuvok answered just as the lift stopped. Chakotay nodded to Tuvok and then they continued to Tom's quarters.

They pressed the chime but nobody answered. They looked at each other and decided that something was wrong. "You get the door opened, Tuvok. I'll call for back-up." Chakotay whispered with a pain filled voice. As the door opened they were greeted with a dark and empty room. Tom was nowhere to be seen. In his quarters were only shattered and broken artifacts.


Vorik carried the unconscious form. After having found it too difficult to drag a screaming and kicking man to the shuttle bay, he had nerve pinched him. It had angered him that Tom resisted and fought against him and he was going to be forced to punish him for it. But first, they would have to get somewhere where Voyager couldn't reach them and then he would have Tom for himself.

He reached the shuttle bay and started to prepare a shuttle as the security arrived. He hadn't expected this. He drew his phaser and started firing at the security. His phaser was not set on stun.

Tom slowly regained conscious and heard the commotions taking place around him. He looked up and saw Vorik standing over him. He saw him take aim at Ayala, who was unaware of the shot that was to come. Tom quickly got to his feet. "No, don't," he screamed and pushed Vorik aside. Vorik accidentally pushed the button on the phaser and it fired. Vorik looked at where the phaser had hit and was suddenly overtaken by fear.

The phaser had hit a container with explosive gas. 'Damn,' he thought to himself. Now he couldn't use the phaser without blowing everyone in the shuttle bay up and he wasn't prepared to kill Tom, yet. He hadn't lost. The security was also aware that phasers were out of the question and went to disable the angry Vulcan with manpower. They soon found that they couldn't defeat Vorik. He quickly disabled most of the security team and as he saw the rest start to retreat he turned around to look at Tom.

Tom was on the ground, seeming to be in agony. As Vorik had fired the phaser, he had been hit in his arm and now felt the pain. He looked up and saw Vorik stare at him he felt his blood freeze. The look on Vorik's face was the exact same expression he had the night he had killed Kenneth. It all came back to him, the entire night. Tears started to move down his cheeks.

A sudden movement at the door made Vorik turn around. It was Chakotay. Tom saw him too and called out: "Chakotay get out of here. I can't let him kill you too, please. Get out of here." Vorik only heard Tom's plea as background music. He stared at Chakotay intently. He turned around to make sure Tom was there and not going anywhere but Tom was nowhere to be seen. He looked back at where Chakotay had stood but he wasn't there anymore either. Vorik screamed out into the room, now covered in a white fog making it hard to see because of the gas. He looked around angrily. He saw something move but it disappeared just as quickly again.

Chakotay appeared from out of nowhere and attacked Vorik, his anger fuelling him. Vorik surprised with the sudden attack, fell on the ground. But he soon recovered and got into attacking position. Chakotay smiled at Vorik. He wanted to crush him and make him pay for what he had done. He was only aware of some of it, but it was still enough to make his blood boil.

Vorik smiled to himself. He was going to get his revenge on the commander as well. He had been aware of Tom's attraction to the commander and now he was going to get his revenge for the attraction. He launched an attack at the commander but soon found himself on the floor, to his surprise. He quickly got up and attacked Chakotay again. He soon found the floor swept away underneath him as Chakotay made an unexpected move, kicking his legs away under him. This was getting irritating. Chakotay was only a human and he, Vorik, should be able to defeat him. He attacked again.

Chakotay watched as the anger made Vorik lose his control. He laughed at the Vulcan. 'Ohh I'm going to enjoy this. So much for the Vulcan strength.' He quickly moved to the site, grapping Vorik's arm as he once again attacked. He dislocated the shoulder and kicked Vorik hard down over his left kneecap, satisfied as he heard it snap. The Vulcan fell to the ground, not able to control the pain because of his insanity.

Chakotay looked up as he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He raised his hand ready to strike, but only found Tom staring at him. He dropped his hand and went over to the pilot and drew him into his arms. Between the man's sobs he could hear him speak: "I'm sorry Chakotay. I am so sorry." Chakotay tightened his grip on the young man and spoke carefully to him: "Tom, I will not have it that you blame yourself. He should have come for help and not letting it go this far. Your only error is that you're unresistible." He felt Tom grin in his arms, and smiled. Everything was going to be okay now. He was going to make sure of that.


Janeway looked silently at Vorik as he sat in the brig meditating. She had asked Tuvok if he was at fault for his actions and he had answered: "He did not come to me when he knew that the Pon Farr was not completed. He knew the danger for himself and he knew that he would be putting others, such as Ensign Paris in danger. But the insanity is not something you can blame any creature upon. It is a chemical imbalance. The doctor will say the same. You can only press charges against him for abusing Ensign Paris and endangering the crew. Everything else was done while his was unable to account for his feelings."

It saddened her that he couldn't be accused and prosecuted for the murder of Kenneth Dalby and injuring 5 security officers. The only thing that made her smiles now a day was the growing relationship between Tom and Chakotay. Tom was left with some psychological problems after his ordeal, but with Chakotay's help, she was sure everything was going to be all right. She looked down at the padd she had in front of her. Never in one million years would she have believed that Dalby might care for Tom. But she had it all on black and white.


Chakotay sat staring at Tom as he dried himself after having taken a shower. Tom looked up and caught Chakotay staring at him and blushed. The hot brown eyes that regarded him made him feel safe and very aroused. Chakotay saw this and went to Tom. "So Tom, do you want to talk or..." 'Please say or,' Chakotay silently prayed. He looked into Tom's eyes and waited for an answer. "Well, what do you want, " Chakotay finally said, getting impatient for Tom's answer. Tom grinned at Chakotay. So the man was getting impatient, just what he had been working on. Great.

Chakotay looked at Tom as a huge smile formed on the beautiful face, realisation hit him: "So you were teasing me. I think I will pay you for that." He swung Tom over his shoulder and walked fast towards the bed with a grinning pilot. He lowered Tom carefully onto the bed and started to remove the towel that he had tied around his slender waist. He looked at Tom and saw a hesitant look. He knew that Tom was scared but he intended to show how real love was like. "Do you trust me?"

Tom looked up at him and quickly answered: "Of course I do, I trust you more than I trust myself." "Good, then trust me to make love to you the real way. I love and I wouldn't think of hurting you. And I hope you know that." The look Tom rewarded him with was enough to convince him that all doubt had left the pilot. He slowly removed his own clothing and watched as Tom looked at him with hungry eyes. He lowered himself over Tom and continued the kiss from sickbay. It was gentle at first but then it crew more passionate.

Tom moved his hands up and down Chakotay's back, feeling the strong muscles underneath. He moved his hands up to grip the short but thick hair and held on to it as Chakotay slowly kissed his way down his stomach.

Chakotay halted at the stomach letting his tongue swirl around and dip into Tom's navel. He was pleased with the moan that he was rewarded with for his actions. Slowly, teasing, he moved down to Tom's shaft. He started licking up and down and grinned as he received an even louder moan. He felt Tom's hands tighten in his hair, not painfully. Instead it was relaxing a wonderful to have Tom's fingers knead his scalp.

Tom was lost in the ecstasy caused by Chakotay's teasing mouth and tongue. He felt the familiar tingle from his feet start to build its way up. He bucked wildly as Chakotay suddenly deep throated him. He arched his back trying to get Chakotay to do more.

Chakotay felt and heard Tom bucking and moaning underneath him. He knew that Tom wasn't going to last long and started to make humming sounds to stimulate him even more.

Tom felt the heat build behind his eyes and thought it was best to warn Chakotay but no sound came out. He felt his entire being begin to tremble as a strong orgasm hit him. He looked at Chakotay who kept on sucking until he had every drop of semen from Tom. He let the softening member go and crawled up to lay besides Tom. "That was great Cha but please I don't think I can live another day without having had you inside me, please." Chakotay regarded the young man. He looked tired, "Tom you haven't completely recovered from your ordeal, maybe it is better to wait."

Tom looked at him, his blue eyes pleading. "Chakotay do it now. I need you inside me and besides you're going to do all the work." That was all the encouragement Chakotay needed. He raised and walked to the replicator to get some lube. He didn't want to hurt Tom. He went back to the bed and sat on Tom. He moved his hand to remove a strand of hair that covered Tom's forehead. Tom caught his and moved it to his mouth and started licking and sucking his index finger.

'Jesus, he's beautiful,' was Chakotay's last coherent thought as the desire to make love to the young man beneath him took over. He put a decent amount of lube on his finger and moved in, to loosen the tight sphincter muscles. He looked up as he heard Tom take a sharp breath and was pleased to see that he was flushed with desire and his normally blue eyes were almost black. He added a second and third, making sure to hit the prostate that made Tom make wonderful music. "Chakotay please... do it now... I... can't hold on much longer." Tom gasped; Chakotay grinned at Tom's attempt to speak and decided that it was time to give Tom what he wanted and also what he himself wanted.

He positioned himself outside the opening and gently started to move. Tom needed more and squeezed his internal muscles to accommodate his need. Chakotay felt all control slip away and started to move faster in and out. He felt the white, hot, searing light build behind his eyes and felt Tom's body tense and squeeze him one last time before the powerful orgasm hit him. His movement slowed down and he felt exhausted on Tom. He rolled over to allow Tom to breathe and then he drew the equally exhausted man into a tight embrace and soon they both fell into a much-needed sleep.


Tom woke up before Chakotay and slowly entangled himself from Chakotay's warm embrace. He looked down at the sleeping man and thought about how wonderful the last night had been. He went out into the main room, ordering breakfast for the two of them and started setting a table.

Chakotay awoke to the smell of breakfast and grabbed his uniform. He walked towards the smell and was happy to find Tom. He sat down opposite to Tom. They both ate in silence, their eyes regarding each other lovingly.

As they had finished, Chakotay moved Tom to the couch and sat down besides him. "Tom, tell me about it." A look of sadness crossed the beautiful face and Chakotay reached out to stroke it. "He was so nice at the beginning. I thought I couldn't have you and he was just there when I needed someone. But then he changed, grew more violent. He beat me sometimes and forced me to have sex with him. I broke up with him but he came back." Chakotay drew Tom into his arms and urged him to continue.

"Tell me about Dalby. Where does he fit?" Tom tensed a bit and then started to cry. Between his sobs, he was able to speak. "We started seeing each other just before I broke up with Vorik. He found out, and he tried to help me but I told him that I wouldn't want to have anyone to know. We started meeting in Sandrines and he helped me a lot. We had so much fun together but we both decided to keep it quiet. Then Vorik started advancing on me again and he found out about Kenneth and me and lured us to the cargo room. I don't know what he did to me but he imprisoned me in my own mind and I can still hear Kenneth's scream. It's all my fault."

"Hush Tom. I will hear nothing of that. You did nothing wrong and I don't care if I have to use the rest of our life to convince you of that." Tom's sobs quieted down and he regarded Chakotay. "The rest of our lives?" Chakotay smiled at Tom's insecurities but vowed to make them go away. "Yes Baby, I plan on spending the rest of my life with you. That is if you will." "Yes, yes, I'd love nothing more than that." Tom threw his arms around Chakotay's neck and held on him for his dear life. Everything was going to be okay.

The End (maybe)

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