Author: Jeanette Kofoed
Codes: CP, VOY.
Series: Part 14 of the Thoughts series: "The Seduction of Paris", "Harry", "A Gift for a Soul Mate", "My Beauty", "Tom's Gift", "Chakotay's Gift", "Pain", "Bruises" and "Harry, Chakotay and Dimples", "He is Mine", "Seeking Help", "Steps" and "One Down"
Rating: NC-17, m/m sex
Archive: Paris Nights, Cha_Club. Anywhere else: Okay with me as long as you say where.
Dedicated: To Robin, who I am for ever grateful too, and to Mel and Elli.

Disclaimer: Characters within this stories belongs to Paramount Pictures and CO. But the story and the plot belongs to me.

Feedback is welcomed at succubus@get2net.dk

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Thoughts 13. --One Down--

What an uneventful day this was. The staff meeting was boring, and my mind kept wandering back to yesterday and to Tom. It angered me that Tom would be left blinded after lovemaking, and a week ago when he had told me that this might happen if we made love, I had refused to be the cause of his being blinded. But I really couldn't deny him, or my own arousal yesterday, and things had developed from there. This morning Tom had only been partially blind. It was enough, though, for me to grow concerned, but Tom had said and insisted that he would make it to sickbay by himself as soon as I left for duty. Luckily I talked him into letting me get him a guide.

So now here I am at the meeting, when I'd much rather be somewhere else. Luckily I didn't have to stay long as Ayala called.

"Captain, sorry to interrupt your meeting, but I'd like to discuss some changes to a security shift with the Commander." Janeway had only taken one look at me before she granted me permission to leave."Ayala, what have you got for me?" were the first words I asked as I walked through the door to his quarters. I stopped promptly as I saw someone else was present. "Ensign Wallan," I finally managed to say.

Ayala released the woman's hand and went over to me. "Chakotay, I think Wallan has something you'd like to hear." I looked hard at Ayala and then back at Wallan. I knew she was a Starfleeter and that she worked in the cartography department, but other than that I had never seen her.

"Commander Chakotay," she quietly said. I patiently waited for her to continue, and she did. "I may know one of those who attacked Ensign Paris."

That woke me up. In two long strides, I was standing right in front of her, feeling Ayala holding me back. I suddenly realized that I must have scared the life out of her and relaxed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you Ensign," I apologized.

She gave me a gentle smile and then decided to continue. "I'm dating Jarvin, one of your former crew mates."

Before she was able to continue, I raised my hand and stopped her. "Are you saying Jarvin is involved?" She nodded.

It was enough for me; I heard Ayala call out not to do it, but I ignored him. I called the computer for Jarvin's location and found that he was in the holodeck with Gerron and Carlson.

I felt my insides turn and start to boil, the anger that had been building inside me needed to be released. I flew out of Ayala's quarters and headed to the holodeck. Without announcing my arrival, I charged into the program and grabbed Jarvin by the collar. "You animal. You have seen people suffer and then you do something like this," I yelled at him, while slamming him into the wall, feeling a strange sense of satisfaction as I heard something crack.

"Chakotay, what are you doing?" I heard Gerron call out from behind. I turned around still holding on to Jarvin and stared at the two.

"Jarvin here, was one of those who attacked Tom. Isn't that right Jarvin?" I looked coldly at him, and he cried out a strangled yes, blood dripping down over his face from a cut in his forehead. I was about to hit him, as I felt three pair of hands hold me down. I screamed at them to let me loose but to no avail. Suddenly the world turned dark...

"Chakotay, wake up." It was Ayala. Where was I? Too quickly I sat up and felt the dizziness from what must have been a sedative.

"Chakotay, you stupid idiot. Had you killed Jarvin, Tom would have been alone." Ayala's words sunk in, and I started to cry. Silent tears ran over my cheeks, and I felt Ayala sit down next to me.

"Chakotay, you could have done this if we were on a Maquis ship, but we're not. Here Janeway will lock you in for good and then who will protect Tom. Let us take care of Jarvin for you and the others. No one will ever know what happened. No one. And you won't have anything bad on your conscience."

I looked up, the anger clearly showing in my eyes. "Jarvin couldn't have done it alone, someone helped him, someone started it all." I spoke angrily.

Ayala only nodded, and then thought for a minute. "Yesterday when you were at the resort, I watched you and Tom, but I also watched others' reactions when you started touching him." Ayala stopped for a moment, blushing. Had I been a little less dark, I'm sure my face would have been bright red. Now I know how Tom feels. "Ayala don't tell me you are into voyeurism?"

Instead of turning more red as I had expected, Ayala just made a face, as if saying, *Oh no, you've caught me. *

The humor didn't last long; Ayala's face soon turned serious again.

"Well, it really started when he bent down to kiss you. That's when I saw it. I have never seen so much hate directed at anyone as it was at Tom. And it only got worse as you started touching him." I couldn't really understand what he was getting at, so I let him continue. "Baastor, remember him?"

I nodded, clearly remembering the Maquis fighter, who had spend many nights chasing after me, back then. I had almost gone with him, but then Seska showed me Tom. Beautiful even then, even in his drunken haze and dirty clothes. I hadn't gone with Baastor that night, but as I recalled it, he found someone else.

Ayala must have been thinking the same thing as he said, "But he didn't find someone else, he waited for you. He stills looks at you with that heated gaze. And remember what he did to that woman years ago, who sold one of our crewmembers out to Starfleet?"

I didn't want to remember. We had fought tooth and nail to get him off her. When we finally got him off, she was already dead, her blood veins in her throat gnawed through. Momentary insanity, Seska had said.

I turned to look directly at Ayala as realization hit me. Baastor. Baastor had convinced the others to beat Tom up. I was about to ask Ayala some more questions as my commbadge beeped. "Commander Chakotay, please report to sickbay." I looked at Ayala, and he gave me a reassuring smile. He said they had taken care of it; I knew only too well what that meant.

I entered sickbay greeted by Tuvok and Janeway. They stood looking down at the still form of Jarvin. "Commander," Janeway said, "I know he was one of your former crew members. Maybe you can tell me why he committed suicide?" Janeway looked suspiciously at me, but also with a strange look of approval.

I finally decided to say something, "Captain, I have just heard rumors about Jarvin being involved with the attack on Tom. I was about to inform you, when I was called here. Jarvin perhaps couldn't live with it. I can't really tell. I didn't know him very well."

After talking together for about an hour or so, we were all ready to go. I turned around to ask the doctor how Tom's condition was.

"Safe to say that last night's exertions caused his momentary blindness, and I already told him that it isn't harmful. His brain just needs to be able to regulate the blood pressure more efficiently."

I heard Janeway stifle a laugh as the Doctor mentioned last night. I turned my head to look at her, and she almost broke into a fit of laughter.

"After finishing the examination, I sent Tom home with Ensign Baastor, which was about two hours ago."

My heart stopped, and I felt my blood freeze. Baastor, Tom. Tom together with Baastor, two hours. Everything crashed down upon me, and I vaguely heard Janeway call my name. Baastor had Tom.

Go on to the next part