Author: Jeanette Kofoed|
Codes: CP, VOY.
Series: Part 14 of the Thoughts series: "The Seduction of Paris", "Harry", "A Gift for a Soul Mate", "My Beauty", "Tom's Gift", "Chakotay's Gift", "Pain", "Bruises" and "Harry, Chakotay and Dimples", "He is Mine", "Seeking Help", "Steps" and "One Down"
Rating: NC-17, m/m sex
Archive: Paris Nights, Cha_Club. Anywhere else: Okay with me as long as you say where.
Dedicated: To Robin, who I am for ever grateful too for betaing this entire series for me, and to Mel and Elli.
Disclaimer: Characters within this stories belongs to Paramount Pictures and CO. But the story and the plot belongs to me.
Feedback is welcomed at email@example.com
Thoughts Part 14 --The Darkness around us--
Everything is so cold, and I can't remember how I got here. I was in sickbay, listening to the doctor explain how irresponsible having sex with Chakotay was, and then I was leaving. I try to move but find that my mobility has been hindered by a pair of cuffs. Gel cuffs. Damn, this can't be happening, not again--I can't take it.
I don't know how long I laid there, not long I think. But the darkness and coldness of the room I was in made it seem like hours. Something seems awful familiarly about this place, though. I suddenly hear a clapping noise and look around to search for the cause of the disruption of silence in the room, momentarily forgetting my own handicap. I can't see. My heart starts pounding even more violently, if that is even possible. Stupid, stupid me. I suddenly realize that it's my teeth chattering. I really feel stupid and weak. To be scared of one’s own chattering teeth. Then, another sound. Definitely not coming from any body part of mine. I lay still, concentrating on the sound. A fast and shallow intake of air, leads me to the answer, there is someone in here.
"Hello," I call out, regretting it the minute I do. An angry growl is the answer to my call, "Bitch, stay quiet." It's a man, but the voice is so harsh and evil that I can't recognize it.
He starts walking back and forth, his pacing seems almost uncertain. I try to keep still but my entire body is shaking. Suddenly he stops moving...
Damn, damn. Why can't I just bring myself to kill him? It wasn't even supposed to go this far. I hadn't planned to bring him to this place; I was supposed to just kill him. Then why did you bring him here? I look over at his body, shaking like a leaf. Damn coward...not like Chakotay at all. Not big and strong. He isn't as muscular nor does he possess the calm self- possession that drew me to my beloved Captain in the first place. He's just handsome, witty and wild. So why this confusion when I'm around him? Why do I always have to suppress the will to just touch him, to just run my hand over his cheeks, his entire body?
I watch him with an amused smirk, as he tries to break free of the cuffs. I start smiling stupidly as he looks around, searching for another presence. The man is blind, how stupid can he be? He knows he can't see. I turn away with a sudden feeling of remorse. Something I don't feel often, and definitely not something I should feel when around him. He's a whore and damn little seducing bitch, who took Chakotay away.
"Hello," he suddenly calls out with a shaking voice that makes me want to go over there to him, instead I return his little greeting. "Bitch, stay quiet." And I mean it, if he doesn't...yeah then what Freddy, what will you do? I start pacing, not really sure what to do. Everything had gone wrong. Yesterday when I planned this, it had been so easy, all I had to do was kill him and make it look like an accident, and now I have kidnapped him, kept him here for over two hours. Surely Chakotay was aware now that his little bitch was missing.
Standing still thinking about things for a while clears my mind enough to come to a decision. He'll have to die. Even if it costs me my freedom, he has to die. I start moving towards him, holding the hypo in my hand. Just a few more steps and it will all be over soon.
"Now you'll die..." I say grinning.
Chakotay I love you, please know that my love. All the things I wanted to say to you, do with you...it's all too late. As he comes nearer, my hearts stops, and I recall all the things we did together. I try to get it all down in the seconds I have left and find it almost impossible, so many happy memories and so little time. Tears start streaming down my face but strangely enough I don't beg him. I won't beg him not to kill me. He's a mad man, and I won't give him that satisfaction.
I feel his breath on my face, and for a second I could swear that he is going to kiss me. Without thinking I turn my head to the right, avoiding him and exposing my throat unknowingly. Before I realize it, I feel the familiar cold press and the tingle of a fluidic substance flowing through my veins.
Everything seems to get heavy. The legs I once couldn't feel are now throbbing painfully. My head gets dizzy, and my mouth fills with a metallic fluid I barely recognize as blood. I can't breathe. Help Chakotay, where are you?
My final thoughts are of Chakotay standing in front of me with the wooden box asking, "Will you marry me?" Then everything turns dark...
Seeing his exposed throat, I immediately apply the hypospray to the vulnerable skin and press. The blessed releasing hiss is heard. It's done. I did it; he's no more. Never again will he come between Chakotay and I. Images of what the two of us will do floats freely through my mind--he's just mine now.
I look down at the blond pilot, Tom, the man my beloved used to have, and feel my mouth spread into a satisfied grin. He looks almost peaceful, and I'm tempted to kiss him and to run my hands over what Chakotay's hands so often has touched. Just so I can feel the reason why he always seemed to want his hands on this man's bare skin.
I bend closely down, my ear just above his mouth. Heaving intakes of breaths can be heard, but they are so silent. He'll die soon, I'm sure.
I stand up with a smiling face, and it's truly a happy day. I feel a laughter building from the bottom of my stomach and as it surfaces, I let it out with full force.
Suddenly two hands grip my shoulders hard and spin me around. I end up looking into a pair of dangerous brown eyes. I just smile...
Go on to the next part